Alienation is not as well researched as you may think . It is much more controversial and occurs only by definition in a custody / divorce context . There is a very large lit making this point - esp Drew and Mercer -‘ challenging parental alienation’
These are not ‘ children . They are adults . Using the term child tends to relieve them of accountability despite external influence. Adults are responsible for their choices . There is no other context where adults get this kind of pass . We were all children once with a history good and bad . Imho the diff is who is expected to have a conscience - not who has agency .
I did not read that book, but I did read a review by Sage Journals. It specifically addresses divorce/custody situations with young children. Alienation does happen in estrangement, whether well documented or not. In estrangement it is the adult-child that allows the alienation, unlike in divorce/custody battles. It is a different sort of alienation.
The only reason we refer to the estrangers as 'adult-child' is because they are adults and our child, not just any adult. They are most certainly accountable for walking away. Even in cases of abuse, it's justified, but still their choice. I don't believe any estranged parent thinks of them as children, simply their child.
I do understand where you are coming from. I can hear the frustration, hurt, and anger in your words. We’ve all felt these things and at time still do. As long as estrangement goes on, these feelings will too. May I suggest looking into Narrative Therapy. It really helped me with finding myself again. I recommend it to everyone who is going through a rough time of self-doubt in hopes of gaining insight and understanding of who they truly are.
I wish you peace, hope, and offer support through your journey.
Parental alienation is not family violence ! That is incorrect . Please do not endorse this view. It is political marketing not fact as you portray it .
According to the research I found: “Parental alienation is described as an unjustified rejection of a parent, caused by behaviors such as demeaning comments, restricting access, or suggesting the child is unsafe with the other parent. These behaviors distort the child’s reality and create loyalty conflicts.” This applies to parental alienation only. It is harmful to the child in when applied in divorce or custody battles. It is not considered that in all alienation contexts.
Try this nfvlc.org. Please educate yourself about the history and use of the terms you use. You clearly have no idea. Before you post misleading info to vulnerable people stop this. Spreading some definition from a guy in Toronto. ? My god. ‘ the research you found’ isn't enough for high school! You are kidding right? Just because you don't know and pretend to. does not mean I do.
The amount is pseudo psych BS on this site is horrifying
Btw reunification therapy is illegal in many states.
I never claimed to be any kind of expert and I certainly don't pretend to be. I am a mother who is going through exactly what my readers are going through. Nothing more and nothing less.
I cite all information I get from outside sources. A reader can decide to investigate it further if they wish. If it isn't cited, then I have interpreted what I've written and that should be understood by my readers.
My ‘research’ stated that many courts/judges DO now consider parental alienation as family violence. It is highly detrimental to the child.
And "a guy in Toronto"? It was the site of Toronto Psychological Services and Research Centre, not just some random guy. It’s a well-established and respected institute. I don’t use information from unreputable or shady sites. How else am I going to learn of I don't research? It won't just come to me!
Really, high school? That isn’t even worth my commenting on.
I don't specifically recall at this moment, but I believe I stated reunification therapy isn't widely available. No, I did not state it was illegal, but if it's illegal, it isn't available!!!
As for the National Family Violence Law Center, my newsletter is about estrangement and not any type of violence. I know some estrangements are due to abuse, but that is not the type I write about. I have made my stance on that type of estrangement very clear.
I am sorry you are so hurt and angry. staying that way isn’t good for your health. I wish you peace and happiness in your future.
Two points
Alienation is not as well researched as you may think . It is much more controversial and occurs only by definition in a custody / divorce context . There is a very large lit making this point - esp Drew and Mercer -‘ challenging parental alienation’
These are not ‘ children . They are adults . Using the term child tends to relieve them of accountability despite external influence. Adults are responsible for their choices . There is no other context where adults get this kind of pass . We were all children once with a history good and bad . Imho the diff is who is expected to have a conscience - not who has agency .
I did not read that book, but I did read a review by Sage Journals. It specifically addresses divorce/custody situations with young children. Alienation does happen in estrangement, whether well documented or not. In estrangement it is the adult-child that allows the alienation, unlike in divorce/custody battles. It is a different sort of alienation.
The only reason we refer to the estrangers as 'adult-child' is because they are adults and our child, not just any adult. They are most certainly accountable for walking away. Even in cases of abuse, it's justified, but still their choice. I don't believe any estranged parent thinks of them as children, simply their child.
I do understand where you are coming from. I can hear the frustration, hurt, and anger in your words. We’ve all felt these things and at time still do. As long as estrangement goes on, these feelings will too. May I suggest looking into Narrative Therapy. It really helped me with finding myself again. I recommend it to everyone who is going through a rough time of self-doubt in hopes of gaining insight and understanding of who they truly are.
I wish you peace, hope, and offer support through your journey.
A distinction worth examing. Thank you.
Thank you for this - I found it helpful and clarifying.
Parental alienation is not family violence ! That is incorrect . Please do not endorse this view. It is political marketing not fact as you portray it .
According to the research I found: “Parental alienation is described as an unjustified rejection of a parent, caused by behaviors such as demeaning comments, restricting access, or suggesting the child is unsafe with the other parent. These behaviors distort the child’s reality and create loyalty conflicts.” This applies to parental alienation only. It is harmful to the child in when applied in divorce or custody battles. It is not considered that in all alienation contexts.
It comes from this article referenced in my newsletter: Parental Alienation and Reunification Therapy: An Evidence-Based Review - https://torontopsychologicalservices.com/parental-alienation-and-reunification-therapy-an-evidence-based-review/?utm_source=copilot.com
Try this nfvlc.org. Please educate yourself about the history and use of the terms you use. You clearly have no idea. Before you post misleading info to vulnerable people stop this. Spreading some definition from a guy in Toronto. ? My god. ‘ the research you found’ isn't enough for high school! You are kidding right? Just because you don't know and pretend to. does not mean I do.
The amount is pseudo psych BS on this site is horrifying
Btw reunification therapy is illegal in many states.
Done.
I never claimed to be any kind of expert and I certainly don't pretend to be. I am a mother who is going through exactly what my readers are going through. Nothing more and nothing less.
I cite all information I get from outside sources. A reader can decide to investigate it further if they wish. If it isn't cited, then I have interpreted what I've written and that should be understood by my readers.
My ‘research’ stated that many courts/judges DO now consider parental alienation as family violence. It is highly detrimental to the child.
And "a guy in Toronto"? It was the site of Toronto Psychological Services and Research Centre, not just some random guy. It’s a well-established and respected institute. I don’t use information from unreputable or shady sites. How else am I going to learn of I don't research? It won't just come to me!
Really, high school? That isn’t even worth my commenting on.
I don't specifically recall at this moment, but I believe I stated reunification therapy isn't widely available. No, I did not state it was illegal, but if it's illegal, it isn't available!!!
As for the National Family Violence Law Center, my newsletter is about estrangement and not any type of violence. I know some estrangements are due to abuse, but that is not the type I write about. I have made my stance on that type of estrangement very clear.
I am sorry you are so hurt and angry. staying that way isn’t good for your health. I wish you peace and happiness in your future.
Also Done.